The In-between
by brsoccer98
Summary: The One ended with their wedding. The Heir began their daughter's story. But how did we get from the end of American's story to the beginning of Eadlyn's? This picks up at the end of The One and follows America's start as a queen and a mother. How will Maxon react when, three months into their marriage, there's a baby on board? Can America even bring herself to tell him?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! this is my first crack at at a fanfiction, so please let me know what you think! Also, feel free to let me know what you guys want to read. If you have any chapter suggestions for me, let me know!**

 **Of course, I don't own any of this. All rights to Kiera Cass.**

"America," I heard a familiar voice breathe. I squirmed as reality rushed into my consciousness.

"America, wake up." I groaned and shoved my head under my pillow.

"It's time to start the day...my dear." Oh, so that's how we're going to start the day? I flung my hand out in Maxon's direction and ended up smacking my hand clumsily across his face.

"Ow! Geez America, I hope that's not how you'll greet me every morning!" I pushed my head up just enough so that I could see Maxon rubbing his nose from under the corner of the pillow. I saw the pain flick across his face and decided that was a little rough for our first morning as husband and wife. For our first morning as King and Queen.

I sat up and put my hands on Maxon's shoulders. He dropped his hand from his face as I pushed him back against the sheets and climbed on top of him. I leaned over him and whispered in his ear, "Good morning."

I pulled back to watch as a goofy smile spread across his face and he said proudly, "Good morning Your Majesty."

I blushed and looked away. I'm not used to being the most powerful woman in the country. My slight pink color turned alarmingly red as I recounted the events of last night following our wedding. The ceremony ended late and we kicked the cameras out by midnight. After that...well, this 8 a.m. wake up call was not working for me.

Maxon tried to grasp at me as I rolled off of him and he fell against me, burying his face in my neck. His breaths stirred my hair, tickling a giggle out of me. I could feel him smile against me at the noise. "Do we have to do anything today?" I asked cautiously, knowing it will take me far too long to pull myself out of this bed. "Tons," he sighed. "I don't understand why I can't have at least one day off for my honeymoon," his voice rose and I could hear how frustrated he was.

I wiggled so that I could look at him, but his eyes wouldn't meet mine. "Hey, I'm sure normal people get long, luxurious honeymoons." Maxon huffed, still looking anywhere but my eyes. "But, I'm not sure if you missed that wedding last night, but you're the King. Maybe if you were still the prince we could have one day, tops. But you're all the people have now, like it or not," I finished.

" _We're_ all the people have now," he corrected, finally looking at me. Just as quickly as his eyes found mine, they fled again. "I miss them." It was barely a whisper. "I know," I matched his tone. "I do too."

I saw a tear hit the sheets beside Maxon, but he was already moving. "Maxon-", we both heard the pity in my voice and I stopped. He kissed my hand and moved towards the wardrobe, studying his attire a little too carefully.

As I tried to figure out what to say, a faint knock came from the door. Maxon didn't move, keeping his back to the door and the rest of the room, including me. Since it was obvious I was going to have to be the one to answer the door, I pulled it open to see Mary's nervous face in front of me. "I'm so sorry to disturb you, Your Majesty, it's just, well, you have an appointment and we must get you ready," she squeaked quickly as if I would close the door in her face. I peeked over my shoulder at Maxon to see that he was still frozen in place and replied, "Of course. I'll come with you."

My eyes went back to him and he has turned slightly towards me, hearing that I was leaving.

Before I went with Mary, I crossed the room to my husband and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Hey, I love you." A corner of his mouth flicked into a small smile. "I love you too," he said. His hand found mine, and I dropped my voice so only he could hear me. "Any advice for my first day as queen?" The smile spread to the other side of his mouth at my question and he really looked at me for the first time all morning. I could see the adoration in his gaze as he pleaded, "Please go easy on everyone today. Be nice to people, and no very-fabric-of-the-country altering episodes okay? We'll build up to those." He winked at me as I swat at his arm.

"Hey that's twice you've hit me already this morning!" But he was laughing through the mock indignation and turned back to the shirts, snagging one off a hanger. I went back to my maid and fell into step beside her. Maxon's laughter faded behind us as we strode the palace halls. I stumbled for a second when Mary stopped at the last door of the hall. I was headed for the stairs. Mary noticed my brow furrow in bewilderment and explained, "This is the Queen's Suite miss." Oh, of course. What need would I have for my old room from the Selection?

Turns out that that was the the first of a long day of firsts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Like where this is going? Let me know! Thanks for reading!**

 **Shoutout to my awesome proofreader/editor who collaborated with me: odiebell98**

 **As usual, I own nothing. All rights to Kiera Cass.**

Three months later:

A sharp pain erupted in my stomach as I ran to the toilet. There goes breakfast! It has been 3 months since our wedding, and already I am getting sick and more irritable than ever!

"Mary, Lucy?" I don't know what is going on with me! Mary and Lucy rushed to the door. "Yes Miss?" They entered slowly as I continueed to relieve myself of my breakfast. Mary rushed over to hold my hair back.

"Miss, shall I send for the nurse?" Lucy squeaked out. How both of my lovely girls have grown into beautiful young women.

"Yes, please Lucy." Lucy left and returned promptly with the nurse.

"What seems to be the issue Milady?" The nurse asked me.

"For a month or so, I have been waking up and throwing up. I don't feel like myself." The nurse smiled. "It's been almost 3 months since your wedding night, I think I might know what the problem is Your Majesty."

"Okay, it's obviously not bad if you are smiling!" I felt hope inside me! Maybe she had a cure for my sickness.

"When was your last period Your Majesty?" I was taken aback for a second by such a forward question, but as I worked on an answer I realized I didn't even know what day it is.

"What's the date today?" I tried to sound confident as I could.

"August 11 miss," said Lucy, at least I think it was Lucy. I wasn't paying attention as my mind was frantically trying to recall starting my period at any point in July. I came up with nothing. I hadn't had my period for over a month. I was either going through menopause or… I was pregnant.

"Excuse me, can you get the King for me?" I asked the nurse.

"Pardon miss but he's in an important meeting, is there something I can do for you?"

I need Maxon. Now. "Forget it, I'll go get him myself," I spat in frustration and ripped the door open. Once I was in the hall, the control I'd been penning up disappeared and I began to run towards his office. Once I got to the door, I burst through, Maxon and the others in the meeting looked at me with surprised faces. A Queen never interrupts unannounced, let alone running.

"King Maxon, I must speak with you at once." I said between trying to catch my breath. "America, I'm busy at the moment, darling," Maxon said trying to stave off the embarrassment. "Maxon. I need to talk to you. Now." He must've heard the desperation in my voice because he stood and walked towards me. "Excuse me gentlemen," he called politely. He gently wrapped an arm around my waist, guiding me to a private area in the hall. After dismissing the guards nearest us, he turned to me.

"America, this had better be important, we are discussing trading routes with the Southern rebels." His face was stern at first but softened. Surely this could wait, I wasn't even sure that I was pregnant, and he's too busy to talk about it. He doesn't need another curveball thrown at him.

"Oh, umm, I just wanted to remind you that my mother and sister were going to be joining us for dinner tonight, and I was wondering if you would be there." I couldn't bring myself to tell him this news.

"That's all you needed, darling? A simple note sent by a servant would have sufficed," he looked around, "but the meeting was awfully boring, I'm afraid the rebels will sign the agreement just so they don't have to come back for another meeting." He smiled and hugged me.

"But hey, I'll see you tonight for dinner. I'm afraid I won't have any free time between now and then to come see you, but I promise I won't be late." He planted a kiss on my forehead as he backed away towards the door he just came through what felt like seconds ago. As he pulled away, he studied me, concern flashing across his features.

I heard the door click shut behind him and he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**This story is a collaboration with odiebell98**

 **Let us know what you guys think! We love hearing from you!**

 **You know the drill: All rights to Kiera Cass.**

I returned to my suite and Lucy was still there. She was humming a tune I'd heard before. Aspen would hum the same tune when he cleaned houses as a six. I thought it best not to disturb her. I took to the chair by the window with a book but found I couldn't concentrate on the story. I needed to talk to someone about what I was feeling.

I looked up and called, "Lucy, can you please send for Marlee?"

"Yes miss." She left me alone, and I began to pace. My anxiety was abut to bubble over when I heard a light knock on the door followed by the sound of a familiar voice.

"America? You called for me?" She looked worried and I broke down into tears.

"I'm- I'm pregnant," I muttered. She looked at me and laughed.

"You are America Schreave, Queen of Illea, and you're crying because you're pregnant?" Thinking about it for a few seconds, I realized just how pathetic must look. For most women, news of a baby would make them giddy with excitement. So why was I so upset?

"Yes I am crying! Have you met me? I am terrible with children! My temper couldn't handle that much pressure! And Maxon- oh Maxon, what will he say when I tell him? He's still getting used to how much is expected of him as King, let alone the work of being a father!" My words were panicked and became unintelligible.

"He will be happy to have a child, it's not a burden, and he wouldn't have it anyother way, or with anybody else for that matter! Think about the endless fun and memories you all will have together. I mean you two are obligated to produce an heir anyway. Have you come up with a name yet?" Her eyes were huge. She was excited, and of course she would be, she loves children.

"No, I don't have a name! I just found out a little over an hour ago!" I felt overwhelmed at even that tiny task. She'll have to live with the name forever and what if she doesn't like it? What if the country doesn't like it? Not for the first time, my heart leapt thinking about how many eyes will be on me for the rest of my life.

Wait, did I just think "she"? It could be a boy...but was I unconsciously hoping for a girl? I wonder what Maxon would want.

Speaking of the father, "When will you tell Maxon," Marlee asked, nearly overcome by her excitement. "Better yet, when will you tell your Mom? You know that once you tell your Mom, the whole kingdom will know within hours." Marlee and I laughed.

"You always know how to make me laugh in situations like these. How's Carter?" I asked dodging the question.

"He's great," Marlee laughed, possibly picking up on my evasiveness. "He's actually waiting for me. We finally saved up enough to move to nicer room. We both took the day off today to move in."

"Marlee," I fixed my glare on her. "I told you that I would get you a room on the third floor. You didn't need to spend your money."

She sighed, "America, you and Maxon have done enough for us already. We have great jobs and we're happy. Besides, Carter's too proud to take handouts from the Queen."

She smiled and moved to touch my shoulder. "You're going to be fine. This is a happy thing, America. I really have to go help Carter." She started walking towards the door. Just before she slipped through, she fixed me with an intense glare. "Tell your husband." She closed the door and I was alone again. But not for long.

Seconds later, the door opened again and a suspicious Maxon poked his smiling face in.

"Tell me what, love?" He closed the distance between us in just a few steps and pulled me into an intimate embrace.

I rested my head against his chest and realized how tense I'd been since I found out I'm pregnant. But here, in Maxon's arms, my body relaxed. "Just how much I missed you," I said into his tie. I really did miss him. A lot. My eyes started to burn but I fought back the tears. Because it was dinner time and I was starving.

I stepped back, straightened his tie, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the hall. "Let's go I'm hungry," I said while Maxon picked up his pace to keep up with me pulling on his arm.

When we got to the dining room my mother and May were standing near the window, deep in conversation with Aspen and Lucy. They heard the door close behind us and meet us at the table. As we settled into our seats and a conversation began to flow around the table, servants filled our glasses, one by one, with a deep red wine. Mom grilled Aspen about how his family was doing and May's cackle filled the room at something Lucy said to her. My gaze stopped short on the plates that emerged, balancing perfectly on the servants's hands. Finally, food.

Maxon raised his glass for a toast and we all followed, picking up our glasses of wine. Well spoken, as always, Maxon finished with a sip of his drink. I'm watching him while, I too, bring the glass to my lips- but no, I can't drink this. I quickly put it back on the table and looked around, hoping no one noticed I skipped the toast. No such luck.

"America, honey, you didn't take a drink. This wine is delicious. Have some!" my mother called across the table to me.

Well, crap. Now what? "I, uh, I'm not thirsty mom." That was convincing, right?

Not when we've attracted the attention of my lovely...persistent, husband. "But it's your favorite kind darling." Maxon said with confusion. Oh honey. I love you, but I need you to let this one go. I smiled at him and replied "Yes it is, and I love that you remember that, but I'll pass tonight."

"Well what would you like instead?" Maxon motioned to the servant closest to him issued the order, "Bring my wife the wine selections for the evening." Oh geez, Maxon. You're going to make me say it aren't you?

"Maxon no I-" My eyes flicked over to Lucy who brought her napkin up to her face to hide her smile.

I sighed and fixed my eyes on the tablecloth. "Maxon, I can't have any wine."

"Why not?" I could hear the confusion in his voice.

"Because I'm pregnant."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reading! Any thoughts or suggestions? Post them in a review below or feel free to PM me!**

 **This story is a collaboration with odiebell98**

 **All rights to Kiera Cass.**

My mother was the first to squeal. It was chaos as screams of my name erupted around the room and I caught even the servants breaking into giddy smiles. The only person not smiling was Maxon.

His eyes were fixed on something only he could see just over my shoulder. The screams and hysterics blurred into a loud wall of sound around me as I said Maxon's name over and over, pleading for him to look at me.

Slowly the wall became quieter and quieter as those around us picked up on our expressions...and the fact that I hadn't told Maxon yet.

When the sounds were replaced with an equally uncomfortable quiet, Maxon snapped out of his revere to finally meet my eyes. I wish he hadn't. His gaze was cold and I watched as a wall came down over him. It held none of the affection he showed me the morning after our wedding. How did I ever think keeping this from him would be a good thing? Didn't I just earn back his trust?

He got up and walked out, everyone looked at me. I couldn't bear their faces, a mix of those who still held their smiles and those who realized what I'd done. "Excuse me," I rose and walked out as well.

As soon as I was out of my family's sight, I bolted, tears streaming down my cheeks, to Maxon. I tripped over my heels. "Dammit!" I screamed and threw them across the hallway. I was desperate to reach him.

"Maxon, wait!" He didn't acknowledge me. "Maxon, Maxon pl-" He stopped abruptly and turned to face me. His face was stern, if not disgusted. I started to regret chasing him.

"When were you going to tell me America? I should've been the first to know! Who did you tell before me?" He watched my every move. I felt small. "No- don't tell me you told Marlee. That's what she wanted you to tell me earlier wasn't it?"

"I was afraid of overwhelming you! You've been so busy! I thought that I would tell you after the Northern Delegates left. You have so much on your plate, I tho-" He stopped me.

"You thought wrong! I should've been the first to know! I am your husband! Not just that, I am your King! I will determine what is too much for me! Not you!"

"I'm sorry, I was just scared,"I whispered.

"Dammit America, you're scared? What about me? In case you forgot, it takes two to make a baby!" At that, I finally flinched.

"I'll be in our room," I muttered and turned to escape.

" _Your_ room, America," Maxon called to me. He sounded like he was a million miles away. "Go to _your_ room. I need my room to myself."

I could feel fissures begin in my heart as I walked away from him. Just before I got to my door, I began to run, hoping to make it inside before the fissures turned to cracks and the cracks broke me apart.


	5. Chapter 5

**This story is a collaboration with odiebell98**

There was a knock on the door minutes later, probably my maids.

"Go away!" I cried out, but the three of them shuffled in anyway. Lucy grabbed a box of tissues, and Mary sat next me and held my hand. Since when did they stop listening to me? Maybe I'll let it slide this time though. At least now I wasn't as alone as I felt. "Thanks," I muttered.

"Your welcome miss. I take it, His Majesty didn't like you keeping it from him?" Mary said somberly. Did everyone know about our fight already? After all, I had only found out I'm pregnant this morning!

"He's beyond mad at me." I cried and cried. I didn't move off my bed and my maids took turns holding me. My mother and May both made an appearance but I don't remember much of it. I was numb and the night passed in a blur. Maxon never came.

The next morning, I woke to my tear stained pillows and my favorite quilt from home, it was my father's. I looked towards the windows, and felt a pang in my chest. They were covered by my father's old smocks that my mother sewed together to make a curtain. I missed him. I looked towards my couch across the room, where May was asleep.

Looking at her, I thought of the day she was born. I was too young to remember much. Just having to wake up in the middle of the night and the look on my dad's face when May finally came into the world. He was thrilled. I remembered more of the day Gerad was born. I helped Mom and Dad with them so much. I began to cry again. I tried to stifle a sniff but failed to be quiet. May stirred and I silently cursed myself. "Ames?" She blinked and came to my bed. "Are you okay?"

"May, can I ask you something?" Knowing the answer, I continued, "Do you think I would be a good mother?" She looked at me with innocent eyes and I knew she was not who I should be asking. I needed someone who would be brutally honest with me. "May, can you go get Mom please?" She scowled but nodded, leaving the room.

"America? You need something honey?" Mom came in and saw my face. She sat next to me on my bed. "This isn't about your fight with Maxon now is it? Because honestly, I heard him in the hallway and he should not have spoken to you the way he did, and if your father were here, he would agree. " She ran her hands through my hair to comfort me. I wondered what Queen Amberly would have done in this situation.

"Mom, should I have told him right away?" She shook her head immediately. "No, sweetie, he has a country to run, and you were being considerate of that. I'm sure that's not how he wanted to find out, and I'll give him the fact you probably should've told him in private before all of the staff found out. Just give him some time sweetie. You always come back to each other. He still loves you. And you have to remember that couples fight," I smiled remembering how Maxon and I fought the day we met. "Your father and I fought all of the time!"

I leaned my head against her shoulder. "You're right Mom. I think I'm going to go see him." With that, I left my mother in my room and headed down the hall to the room I shared with Maxon. His door was cracked open and I could hear him talking to someone. Not quite sure who, I peeked in. Maxon sat at his study and Gavril Fadaye stood facing him.

"Sir, you have to know that she only found out yesterday morning. Not only that, but since the wedding, you haven't had time to yourselves because you have been so busy with the Northern Delegates and the Trade Treaty. Can you blame her for not being able to figure out how to tell you? How'd the meeting go, though?" Gavril turned and saw me, "Never mind sir, you have a visitor." He walked toward the door and bowed in front of me. "Your Majesty." With that he left. Maxon still didn't turn around.

"Maxon," I walked into the room and placed my hand on his shoulder. He tensed but didn't move away. "I'm so sorry for not telling you sooner. I've thought about what you said before and I'm sorry, but I do have some issues with what you said as well." He turned to face me, "and those are?"

"You, Maxon Schreave, are not your father. You will not speak to me like that. Yesterday you were rude and acted just like him. Maxon, I love you so much, but I am your wife and your Queen, and you will treat me as such. You are not Clarkson, so stop acting like him!" If I didn't know him like I did, I probably wouldn't have noticed the way he squirmed at my words, reliving the scars on his back. At this point I was yelling. Tears streamed down my face and a single tear fell down his. He walked slowly towards me.

"America, I'm so sorry for what I said. I forget sometimes that my father was awful to you too. But you're my world and I can't stand the thought of causing you the fear the father did." He gently touches my belly. "This baby is a good thing for us, and I promise to be by your side at all times. Screw the trade treaties! I am going to be a father! Oh my god...I'm going to be a father!" He closed the distance between us and lifted me off my feet. He swung me into his arms and carried me to our bed. We were both laughing between kisses, finally catching up to the excitement that everyone else felt at our announcement.


	6. Chapter 6

**This story is a collaboration with odiebell98**

 **The baby names in this chapter are not meant to offend anyone. We were simply trying to play on the fact that the names in the Selection series are so original, we wanted America to laugh at the idea of a name that would seem normal to us.**

 **Hope you enjoy! We love hearing from you!**

"Ugh that's an awful name!" I shrieked with laughter as Maxon looked at me with mock outrage.

"America Schreave, why not?" Maxon whined.

"I am not naming the future heir of Illea Hannah! What if it's a boy?"

"Hmm I hadn't really thought of that," he muttered. "Harold?"

"Even worse!" I pulled my knees up to my chest in laughter. I was cuddled up next to my husband in our bed following our make-up chat. In his excitement, the man started throwing baby name ideas at me. So far, they were all terrible. I rolled so that I was talking into Maxon's shirt. "Do we have to decide this now?" I pleaded.

I felt his chest rise and fall quickly as he chuckled underneath me. "No, love, of course not," he said. He cupped my face and gently pulled me up to look at him. His gaze took my breath away. In the charged second that passed between us, I could see how miserable our fight had made him too. I hated to see that I had hurt him. I pushed myself up on my elbows to gently press my lips to his. I felt his body lean into mine instinctively in response, and I brought one hand up to hook around his neck. While I supported myself on one elbow I pulled him to me, deepening the kiss. But wait, before we got too far, I had something I needed to know.

I pulled away and waited for him to look at me. "Maxon," I said cautiously. "Do you think I'll be a good mother?"

He looked bewildered for a second, then his face turned to incredulous. Apparently he thought it was a ridiculous question. I looked away.

"America, look at me darling." I couldn't do it. He gently put his fingers under my chin and physically brought my eyes up to his. "I think you'll be an amazing mother," he said, the sincerity made my eyes begin to burn. "You practically helped raise your younger siblings. You were helping provide for your family for years before I brought you here. You're the most caring and passionate person I've ever met." He brought his hand to my cheek as he finished, "And you will be an amazing mother."

His bright blue eyes watched every move I made. Perfectly tan skin made me crave his touch. Strong arms with toned muscles made me shudder. I worked my hardest to get him. To be someone he would want, in the end, amidst all those other girls. And here I was listening to him tell me that I was everything he wanted in the mother of his child. I ran my hands through his hair. I pulled his face towards mine and whispered "I love you so much," just before his lips crashed into mine.

If our earlier kisses were gentle and controlled, this was anything but. My hands flew feverishly from his hair to his neck to his chest and Maxon kissed me so hard I felt that I might shatter apart in his arms. Suddenly, he was leaning over me, on top of me, and his hand was traveling up my thigh. His other hand was gripping my waist. I went to work on the buttons of his shirt but got stuck on the last one. The fabric was caught, and I grunted against him in frustration. His breath tickled my cheek as he laughed and sat up to relieve himself of the garment. As soon as it was gone, I pulled him back against me and we crashed back to each other, that half a second of distance almost unbearable. He nibbled on my bottom lip, I sighed.

I craved him from the top of my head to my toes. He met my eyes. He slowly unzipped my dress. It was agony that he was moving so slowly, taunting me with every second. He never broke our gaze. I ran my fingers faintly over his stomach, feeling the uneven terrain of his muscles. He tensed at the touch. I slid my hands around to his back, watching him flinch. I kissed his shoulders while my hands explored the raised bumps interrupting his otherwise perfect skin. I needed him to know that I loved every part of him, even the scars. Some of those he took to spare me. I brought my lips back to his and he relaxed. He moved around while we kissed. His pants were on the floor.

If I was in my right mind I would have stopped. But whenever I am with him, my defenses crumbled, leaving me vulnerable. He pulled me against him, more determined. I felt totally and completely loved. He laid me down, and I took in every inch of him. I was his and he was mine, and that was all I needed in that moment.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys! I'm going to the bookstore tomorrow, so I'm looking for recommendations for books to get! PM me any suggestions! Thanks! Enjoy!**

I barely moved as Maxon's warm body left my side. He must have an early meeting. I curled my toes into the sheets, pulled the blankets up higher to replace Maxon's warmth, and fell back asleep. I slept a dreamless sleep.

I was roughly jolted awake by an eardrum-splitting noise. It took me a second to recognize it as the attack alarm. The rebels are here. I rolled over to wake Maxon, but he wasn't there. My blood ran cold as I realized I was alone. We hadn't been worried about rebel attacks and I still hadn't figured out all of the secret paths on this floor yet. I scrambled out of bed and grabbed my robe.

"Mary, Lucy?" No answer. I grabbed, our wedding photo off the nightstand and Maxon's camera bag. He loves his cameras. I could only think of one place to go, my old room as a selected. At least from there I knew where to go. I headed for the door, and opened it.

"Hello miss!" I stumbled backwards as a scraggly man smiled at me menacingly. He reached for my arm and a memory flooded my mind. I recalled the time I felt threatened by Maxon back when we first met. As I watched the scene playback in my mind I was aware of my knee coming up to hit the man in the groin. He double over and I tried to run as fast as I could. He was faster. "Feisty little bitch, aren't you?" I heard him snarl in my ear and this time he knotted his fingers in my hair. "I got the Queen!" I heard someone yell followed by several sets of footsteps. Desperate to get out, I flailed around to find any sort of purchase. The rebel twisted his hand in my hair and a scream ripped up my throat. "Shut her up!" One of the owners of a set of footsteps called. I heard myself screaming as if from a distance, and, as if from a distance, I heard my scream cut off sharply. The was a deafening sound and an unbearable pain seared through my stomach. A ringing in my ears was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

* * *

 **Maxon's POV:**

"Where is she?" I asked the nearest guards.

"We are still trying to get everyone to safety, Sir. We haven't seen her yet," a young man responded.

No! How has nobody seen her? Were they even looking for her? "SHE IS THE QUEEN OF ILLEA, SURELY YOU CAN MAKE HER A PRIORITY!" My voice echoed in the practically empty room. America and I are all that's left of the royal family and without her here, the room felt overwhelmingly huge.

"Your Majesty," I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned and took in Mary and Lucy running across the room towards me.

"Mary! Lucy! Where's America?" They stared at me in shock and horror.

"We thought she'd be with you, sir! We hadn't seen her this morning, so we assumed she was still in bed," Mary spoke to me while Lucy tried to hold herself together. I remembered America telling me about how these attacks affected her.

"We're doing everything we can, Your Majesty." The guard appeared genuinely concerned about his queen. But she wasn't carrying his baby. "Fine, I'll go and look for her myself!" I ran to the door, "OPEN IT! NOW!" The guards hesitated, unsure if their loyalty was to me or my safety. "OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR OR YOU WILL BOTH BE CANNED AND STRIPPED OF YOUR CASTES AND-" At that moment the guards finally open the door.

I bolted out, "AMERICA!" I went to our suite. I didn't see her. " AMERICA, WHERE ARE YOU?" I looked under the bed and saw nothing but dust. As I ran back towards the hallway- CRUNCH. I reached down and found one of our wedding pictures cracked on the floor. It was stained red. My camera bag lied next to it. I picked it up, my camera was still in it. It was on and showed a single picture. America was bleeding out in the hallway on the screen. My heart stopped. The camera crashed to the ground and I ran. Dammit, where'd they take her?

When I turned the corner I smelled something coppery. Blood. As I followed it, the scent became more potent, the floor became sticky. I looked down and saw dried blood. The hallway bent and revealed a guard. "You! Have you seen the Queen?" The words came out in such a rush I was surprised he seemed to understand me. He turned and I saw the front of his uniform. It was covered in red. "Yes I have Your Majesty." Every muscle in my body tensed at his words.

"Whose blood is that?" My vision was narrowing into a tunnel. "Your Queen's!" The rebel's voice oozed confidence and his lip pulled up into a smirk. He pulled a gun from his pocket and aimed it at me. "Any la-" Adrenaline surged through my veins and my instincts kicked in. I tackled him to the ground. He managed to hold onto the gun, despite the force of the impact, and he aimed at my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath as he pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened but a soft click. "It appears you're in luck Maxon. I used the last of my bullets on your wife."


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for reading! I love to hear what you guys think! Don't hesitate to leave a review below!**

Maxon's POV:

I vaguely remember charging at him. My muscles were alive and my mind was buzzing. America's face kept swimming in front of my vision. I slammed the palm of my hand into his nose and heard a satisfying crack as his nose shattered. This gave me enough time to grab the gun. I was about to pull the trigger when I remembered there were no more bullets. My pulse pounded in my ears and my mind raced to decide what to do with him. I wanted him to hurt. I slammed him over the head with the butt of the gun, knocking him unconscious. The stolen guard uniform came in handy. I opened a pocket and found a nice pair of handcuffs that I used to chain him to the stairs. When I had him secured, I stood to slow my breathing and the rush of blood pounding in my ears. I had almost forgotten why I was there, but then the stench of blood brought me back. America.

A door at the end of the hall was slightly ajar. "America, Darling?" My voice was quiet, suddenly afraid that I finally had found her. I put my palm to the door and it gave way easily. She was laying beautifully in a pool of blood. I almost would've thought she was asleep, just as I'd left her this morning. It was the rich color of red surrounding her that brought me to my knees. I tried to scream but my breath caught in my throat. When I fell next to her I examined her closer, discovering the wound in her stomach.

"HELP!" The scream ripped my throat. No one came, everyone already locked into safety. I lifted her into my arms and leaned our body weights against a panel in the wall I recognized as a path to the safe rooms. I made it to the very end to where the royal family's room, but the door was locked. I kicked and punched it but it didn't budge. Of course not, hadn't I spent countless hours down there in my lifetime and knew that once the doors were locked, no one was getting in? I was still desperate enough to try. Blood gushed from America's wounds in my arms.

I continued to the next door. It was just swinging shut. "Please help me!" I screamed. I don't think I could've bared it if I didn't make it into that room.

A small girl heard my cry. She saw America in my arms, bowed, and let us in. "Momma, the King and Queen are here!" A woman came running at those words and bowed deeply when she saw that her daughter was telling the truth. "Emily, let him in!" I shouldered America and I inside.

"What happened Your Majesty?" I carried her to a cot and set her so delicately down, afraid she might fall apart before my eyes. The women disappeared out of the corner of my eye for a second and came back with towel and a bowl of what looked liked water but smelled like alcohol.

"I went looking for her because she never made it to the safe room and found her like this, unconscious and bleeding. She's lost a lot of blood," Even I could hear the panic in those words. The women met my gaze, "If she loses any more blood, she will surely die. My mother was a nurse, so I know basic disinfecting and how to stitch her up. Emily, come here." She rambled off instructions to the little girl who had silent tears running down her cheeks.

The woman began cutting the cloth away from where the bullet hole was, "This is going to be a nasty wound, sir. If you have a weak stomach, I would leave the room." I looked at her and gave her a ghost of a smile. "Thank you for the offer, but I can't leave my wife," I told her.

As the cloth fell from around her stomach, I remembered the baby. "Oh my god, her stomach was shot!" The woman looked at me again, "It's nothing a good patch up won't fix. It will leave a nasty scar though," she told me, clearly trying to sound optimistic. Emily returned with her arms full, "No ma'am, you don't understand," I stood up, my voice rising. "We just found out she's pregnant!"

She looked at me in horror. "I'm so sorry Your Majesty, but I doubt the fetus will survive all of this." Her eyes looked devastated over the loss of our unborn prince or princess. She had no idea how broken my heart was.

She began to thread the needle when the signal bell that meant the coast was clear went off. "Your Majesty, you should take her to a nurse now," she said, tying off stitch she was working on. I was out into the hall in a second. I ran to the door for the royal family right as it was opening. Guards were streaming out and I yelled to get their attention. They saw me and ran in my direction. I went back to where America laid, the woman was doing her best to clean up the wound. I heard a captain spewing orders behind me as he saw what was in front of me. "

Stacy, you go get a nurse. Jacobs, go and find something sturdy to put the queen on. Williams, help me carry her off the table." I watched as they took my wife away from me and she immediately went into surgery. I'd lost my parents, probably lost my baby, and now I might lose America.

I shut my eyes against the pain in my chest. Suddenly I remembered the rebel I had chained in the hall. A group of guards walked around the corner and I stopped them. "There is a rebel down the hall chained to the wall. He is responsible for wounding the queen. See to it that he is arrested and taken to the dungeons. I hav-," I was going to say something that I had heard my father say about a rebel once, and America's words interrupted my thoughts. _You are not Clarkson, stop acting like him!_

"Actually, no, see to it that he is executed immediately." "Yes sir." They ran in the direction I had pointed. My heart sped up. I needed to talk to someone, I couldn't bear any of this alone. I found another guard, "Please send Marlee Woodwork and Aspen Leger to my suite immediately."

As I reached my room I saw them standing outside, talking intently.

"What happened?" They asked in unison when they saw me approaching. I realized why they hadn't gone inside. The floor was covered in America's blood behind the door. I opened my mouth to explain but broke down before I even made a sound. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. When I was able to speak, the words came out in a rush. "I had to get up for an early meeting this morning, so she was still in bed when the attack alarm went off. She didn't make it to the safe room so I went to look for her. I found her inside here lying in a pool of blood. She was shot in the stomach. I doubt the baby made it," my voice broke. "She's in surgery now."

The weight of the situation became too much and I slid down the wall. Marlee crouched down beside me and grabbed my hand. Aspen wouldn't look at me and instead looked as if he were about to murder someone. "The rebel who did it, is to be executed," I told him. That only made him more enraged.

"I want to deal with this rebel personally," he spat. He looked at me and I shook my head. "No Maxon, let me handle this!" He sounded so desperate, seemingly more mad than I was.

"No Aspen, they're already taking him away. It's taken care of." We locked eyes for a few moments, in that time communicating more than our words could. He's the only person to ever have loved America as much as I do.

Aspen's knuckles were fists, the skin stretched wide across them. "It's not fair!" He screamed as he sent one of those fists through the wall.

"Tell me Aspen, what would you have done to the man?" He did a double take at this and looked puzzled. "Nothing, you know why? Because you are a good person, you don't like seeing people hurt. America wouldn't want you to be someone else. The best thing to do right now is to pray she's okay and stand by her." I turned to look at Marlee as well, "She's going to need both of you. I don't know if I can be enough for her through this." My voice cracked.

I pushed myself off the floor and entered my room, leaving them with those words. I locked it behind me. After a few deep breaths, I went to work on cleaning up the mess on the floor.


	9. Chapter 9

BACK TO AMERICA:

I heard the beeping of a heart monitor next to me. My stomach felt like it was on fire. I looked around, and I saw no one. Why was I here? Suddenly I remembered, there was an attack and I was shot. Was Maxon okay?

The beeping of the monitor accelerated with my heartbeat and I heard some shuffling. "America, darling, you need to calm down." Suddenly, the man I love was hovering over me. "You were shot by a rebel in the attack. You've just woken up from surgery and your heart needs to rest." His eyes began to well up with tears.

"Maxon, what happened?" He said nothing and I felt my own eyes becoming wet. I knew something was wrong.

"America, we lost the baby."

What? No, surely I misunderstood. I was pregnant and we were having a baby. We were just discussing names this morning. Or rather, I was shooting down Maxon's terrible ideas for names this morning. Was that right? Only hours ago?

My hand went to my stomach and I winced when my hand touched thick bandages.

"Where's the rebel that shot me?" My eyes met Maxon's and all I saw in them was loss. "Maxon where is he?" I tried again but he still couldn't answer me.

I tried to get out of the bed, swinging my legs over the side. I looked down and realized I had dozens of tubes connected to me. I ripped them out as fast as I could. An alarm shrieked next to me and I heard footsteps running in my direction.

No, no, I have to get away. I have to find him. I kept fighting and felt a hand clamp down on my arm. Several hands held me down to the bed. I kept trying to fight, but my muscles weren't responding anymore. I watched someone put something that looked like a sedative into my IV. No, I have to get to him. He killed my baby. He killed my baby.

I slipped back into the darkness.

When I woke again, I was not alone this time. But it was not the King who was asleep next to my bed. It was Aspen.

I shifted my body to look at him and the effort of moving sent my heart monitor into another spasm. The noise woke him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I whispered.

"It's alright America, I'm glad you're awake." He studied me for a moment. I could tell he was trying to read me, trying to gauge how I was feeling, not only physically, but emotionally as well. But I wasn't his to read anymore. It seemed he wasn't as good at it anymore. "You've had quite the shock today. How are you feeling?" He settled on coming right out and asking me.

"I'm fine," I said the first thing that came to mind. "I don't have any pain," I muttered weakly. Aspen's gaze turned hard and confirmed what I already knew. That's not what he was asking.

"I honestly don't know how to feel, Aspen. I had just gotten used to the idea of a child and just became happy about it. My first reaction was rage, but look what that got me. They knocked me out again," I stared into the sheets. "So apparently that's not the right answer."

Aspen chuckled pathetically. "Maxon told me the same thing."

"You talked to him?" I asked in wonder. Maxon and Aspen were cordial, friendly even, since they both realized the other one was a permanent part of my life. Nevertheless, I was surprised Maxon would go to him over such an intimate thing in our lives.

"He called on Marlee and I while you were in surgery. I think he needed to surround himself with people who loved you too so he wouldn't feel so alone. He lost a child too, Mer." Aspen's words sat like a weight on my chest. We'd lost our child.

It was as if someone had thrown water on the fire that burned in me. Burned in the pain in my stomach and burned in the fury in my heart. Suddenly, that fire was gone. The tension melted out of my body, and I felt as if I physically couldn't hold myself together anymore. The flood gates opened.

My body was overcome with the force of my sobs as my hopes and dreams for my unborn child bled out of my heart. Dreams of holding her in my arms, dreams of her first steps, dreams of her coronation as queen. They all rode the tears down my face and into oblivion. Aspen shoved aside the sheet and climbed into the narrow hospital bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me and I turned my face into his shirt. He simply held me as I ruined his shirt and let the life of my little one run out of me.


	10. Chapter 10

At some point, someone, probably Aspen, carried me to my room and set me in my own bed. A nurse also appeared and set up my IV in my bedroom. I was still receiving pain meds through it. It was hours before I saw Maxon again.

He knocked very lightly on my door and gently poked his head through, waiting for permission to come in. That was new. When I nodded he came in and sat on the edge of my bed. "How are you?" he asked, studying me.

"I'm fine," I muttered. Why was this so awkward? This was my husband inches away from me. The man I was going to have a baby with.

Maxon must've seen the devastation that ripped through me on my face because he grabbed my hand and pulled himself up next to me. "America, I'm so sorry," he said, staring at my hand.

"We were supposed to have a baby," I whispered. I wasn't even sure he heard me. But then I saw the tear that fell from his face.

"I know," Maxon whispered, matching my tone. "I know." He wrapped himself around me and I snuggled into his chest. His breath rattled as it stirred my hair.

"What do we do now?" I asked into his shirt, my own breathing becoming a little forced.

"I guess we do what we did before you were pregnant." He started drawing circles on my back.

"I'm not sure I even remember what that was."

Maxon didn't say anything, but I noticed his chest rise and fall in a more steady rhythm. I peeked my head up from his chest and realized he'd fallen asleep holding me. I wonder if he's had as hard of a time sleeping as I have.

Soon, my eyes closed and my breathing evened too.

I woke up the next morning, and, surprisingly, Maxon was still asleep with his arm stretched across my waist. Apparently the country was giving him the morning to sleep in a bit.

Not too long though, of course. Right then a series of raps came from the door. It caused Maxon to move, but only enough to bury his face further into the pillow. I took this as a sign that it was on me to call, "Come in."

A young boy, maybe 16, entered with a cumbersome stack of papers for Maxon and newspaper for me. I've taken to reading them lately. A small voice in my head makes remarks while I read them and it sure sounds a lot like Celeste.

On today's edition, a stock photo of Maxon and I from our wedding stares at me from the front page. The headline reads "And Two Become Three, The Royal Couple is Expecting an Heir."

News pertaining to Maxon and I always traveled fast. Although, apparently, not fast enough for them to have the latest.

I dropped the paper on the bed and sank back into the sheets. I wasn't completely aware of the rapid rate at which my breathing was speeding up, but Maxon pulled himself up to look at me. He caught my panicked eyes locked on the newspaper and looked himself. "Aww, America-"

"They don't know Maxon," I said, cutting him off. "They're expecting a baby and they don't know I lost it." The tears were threatening to overcome me and Maxon pulled me to him. I looked down and said into his shirt, "I don't want them to know. Can't any part of our lives just be ours?"

"No," he said simply. That got a sad chuckle out of me. "We need to tell them. We need to tell on the Report tonight." No. Can't I have one day to grieve on my own?

I opened my mouth to protest immediately, "No! It's none of their business! It was my child! I lost it! I'm the one who failed-" my rush of words cut off as a sob closed my throat and made me shake. I can't do this. I can't be Queen anymore. I failed at the country's simple expectation that I have a baby to take the throne when Maxon is gone or retires. Women have babies all the time. Shouldn't the queen be able to? I knew it. I knew from the beginning of the Selection I wasn't cut out for this. Why had I agreed to do something I knew I was going to be no good at?

Maxon gripped my face and pulled me out of my thoughts. His beautiful eyes bored into mine, calling me back to him. Oh yeah, that's why. "America, it was my baby too. Stop calling it YOUR child. And you think you failed? You were shot, darling. I'm the one who wasn't there when you needed me. I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he repeated against my hair.

I wanted to stay like that forever. Both of us breathing each other in, trying to ease the other's despair.

"We have to tell the country," Maxon whispered.

"I know," I said pulling together some courage. "I'll tell them."

Maxon pulled back to look at me. "Are you sure? No one would blame you if said you couldn't do it."

"I can do it. Can you be by my side, though?"

"Always," he said.

I can do this. I've been on the Report dozens of times.

Boy, was I wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

The studio was chaos as people were running around to prep for what they thought would be a huge episode. The official announcement of my pregnancy.

They were right about one aspect. There would be an announcement. But it wouldn't be that there was a baby inside me.

As I watched, I tried to run over the speech I'd prepared to tell the country tonight. I went over it several times, not realizing that I was saying it outloud until Maxon's voice from behind me muttered, "That's lovely, darling."

I jumped at this and spun to face him. "You like it?" I asked once my heartrate recovered, to which he nodded.

A crewmember rushed past us and pushed his thin frame into a clumsy bow while calling to us, "Thirty seconds Your Majesties," without even slowing down. Maxon planted a quick kiss on my lips and took his position behind the podium for opening remarks. He would bring me up later.

As I numbly moved to my seat, I saw Aspen in the crowd. We made eye contact for a split second before his eyes flicked down to the notecard I had in my hand and then back up to my face. I brought a hand up to my stomach to communicate from across the room what I was about to tell the country. I watched him sigh. He didn't like the publicity of this either. Sometimes we are so alike I marvel at how we were ever a functioning couple. Or how I ever thought I could live without him.

Behind some bulky equipment a sourceless voice calls "Five, Four, Three, Two-" and my butt just hit my throne as he finished, "One."

"Good evening Illea," Maxon spoke, his voice full of the authority he used when he needed to be the King. He spoke on foreign affairs and other domestic issues for a few minutes before pausing to look back at me, questioning me with his gaze. _Are you ready?_ It's now or never. I rose from my seat and joined him at the front of the stage.

"Hello everyone," I greeted. "By now, I'm sure you've all heard the news that I was pregnant with an heir. It's true. I was pregnant. But the palace suffered another rebel attack earlier this week, in which I was injured. Through surgery to remove the bullet, I-" my voice cracked as my composure began to crumble. Keep it together, America. You're on TV. The whole country is watching. "I lost-" I tried again but this time my words were interrupted by the swelling in one's throat when you begin to cry. I turned away from the cameras, not wanting to cry in front of them, and Maxon was rushing to my side. He grabbed me and pulled me to his chest just as the sobs began. My tears stained his shirt but he just held me and whispered in my ear. Though I couldn't make out what he was saying over my sniffling, his voice and his arms held me together in front of the nation.

I don't know how long Maxon would've let this go on if Gavril hadn't stepped up to the podium and taken the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse the King and Queen as they grieve," he said, nodding to us that we could leave if we wanted to. I felt Maxon nod a thank you before he lead me off stage. It was then that he swung me into his arms and carried me to our bedroom, not trusting me to make it on my own. He set me under the covers and climbed in himself, both of us still fully clothed for the Report. As I drifted off into a fitful sleep, the last thing I noticed was the taste of mine and Maxon's tears mixing together on the pillows.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys! As always, I love hearing what you think! But I'm also having a hard time figuring out where to go from here, so future chapter ideas or suggestions of things you'd like to see at America's birthday party, just post it in the comments with your review or feel free to PM me! Enjoy!**

I woke to the sound of crying. Enough, I thought. Enough with the crying. I was so tired of the crying. I flung the sheets aside, exasperated, and crossed my room.

There, looking up at me with a blotchy red face and impossibly tiny fists, was my baby girl lying in her day crib. "Hannah, can't you just sleep for 30 minutes? That's all I'm asking," I pleaded with the newborn. My words had no effect on her, except that she might have gotten even louder. I reached in and picked her up and sat with her in the plush rocking chair by her crib. She slowly began to calm down and I watched her features relax while she dozed off.

The door swung open violently as Maxon stormed in, mirroring my earlier frustration. I could tell he'd been pushing his hands through his hair because it was messy for his usual clean look. His eyes swept the room and landed on me, glaring at him, cradling our child.

He instantly softened and the tension visibly fled him. "I'm sorry for the noise," he whispered as he dropped to his knees beside us. I looked up from our miracle to train my eyes on him. It was so fascinating just watching him look at her. It was as if he was afraid that at any sudden movement she would vanish before his eyes. I never would've moved if I didn't have to.

But suddenly, the room was filled again with the sound of a baby crying. I looked back to little Hannah but she was still fast asleep. The crying stopped and I looked up to Maxon but- he was gone. The walls around me were no longer of my bedroom in the palace, but now I was in my childhood bedroom in Carolina. I heard footsteps coming towards me, getting closer and closer but never reaching me.

Just as I thought the steps might converge on me, I sat bolt upright in bed.

It was a dream. It was all a dream.

I collapsed back against the mattress with the cruelty of it all. There was a hole in my chest as if the dream had physically torn a piece out of me. Maxon was fast asleep beside me and there was no crib and no baby. I couldn't bring myself to wake my husband when he was finally getting the rest that was so rare for him and passed the night staring up at the ceiling, trying not to think about the missing piece.

"Omph," I heard someone say in response to a loud thud beneath me hours after I'd finally drifted off again.

"Shh! Don't wake her," a female voice whispered fiercely.

"We're not trying to! I'd like to see you on this ladder, princess," a third familiar voice retorted with the hint of a laugh under the remark.

Giving up on ignoring the noise for the sake of preserving my sleep, I rolled over and sat up to accuse the intruders. "What's a queen gotta do to get some sleep, huh?" I shot at them, taking in the scene around me.

Aspen, atop a ladder, turned from teasing Lucy as all eyes fell on me. Marlee was arranging confetti on my desk and wardrobe, Aspen was stringing streamers around the bed, Lucy was pushing a second ladder back up on its feet across the bed from Aspen, and Maxon was sprawled on his butt beneath the overturned structure. So that was the thump.

Maxon jumped to his feet, brushing himself off, anxiety filling his features. "Good morning darling! So sorry to wake you! I don't suppose there's any hope of you just going back to sleep is there?" He spoke quickly and nervously, afraid I'd be upset.

"Not a chance," I shot back. "What is all this?" My eyes took in the messy room with decorations strewn haphazardly from every surface.

"Well I was just coming back in here to decorate this morning and these three were trying to convince me to let the servants do it for me, but I refused, so they at least made me promise to let them help. Do you like it?" There was an undeniable note of hope on the last words, much like a child trying to impress someone.

I took another sweeping look. The streamers hung down over the bed on Maxon's side, no doubt a result of his fall, and the rest of the room looked like a confetti cannon threw up on it. But with four sets of big eyes staring back at me I knew I had to be nice.

"It's...lovely," I said.

"She hates it. See, I told you the confetti was too much," Aspen threw his hands up and began climbing down from the ladder.

"No!" I recovered. "I don't hate it. It's just...what are we celebrating again?"

Now it was time for four mouths to drop wide open in disbelief.

Marlee came and sat on the edge of the bed. "America! It's your birthday!"

What? No that can't be right. It's only… what is the date anyway?

"Umm are you sure?" I asked to no one in particular.

"You forgot your own birthday?" Aspen gaped back at me.

"No?" I squeaked weakly. "It's just been...hard lately. I've had a lot going on so I wasn't paying attention to silly things like my birthday."

Maxon stepped closer, "Your birthday's not silly, darling. I was actually hoping it could give us an excuse to take our minds off what's been happening lately and try to have some fun and be happy." His eyes were so hopeful as they stared into mine. He was trying so hard.

"Okay, watch," I said, laying back down. "I'll pretend to be sleeping again and you can finish your decorating. I'll even put my underemployed acting skills to use and try to appear surprised." I yanked the sheets back up over myself and buried my face in my pillow. "Okay, go!" I shouted unintelligibly into the pillow.

"America, get up this instant," Marlee giggled and tossed an unopened bag of streamers at me.

And so, before anything else could be hurled at me, I got out of bed to get ready for what was sure to be an interesting first birthday in the palace. I could feel less and less of the hollow ache that had drilled into my chest just hours earlier.


End file.
